I'm a total gadget freak, and I can forgive most defects from them. Most phones and computers have something to recommend them - I am a nerd, and proud of it. Some devices though are just perverse and these I cannot countenance. I have a Nokia N70 at home which drops calls randomly and has the interface from hell, courtesy of Orange - it takes me five minutes just to save a number, and won't let me text someone unless I've put them in the contacts directory first. The chip's desperately underpowered and it takes five minutes to boot it from cold. I harbour dark thoughts about the end it will meet when its contract expires, since it would be way too cruel to inflict it on anyone else. And I'm getting some ideas from Wired's new competition in which readers suggest gadget-murders.