After Nigel

Courtesy The Archers Blog

Almost total silence in the newsroom this evening as we listened to the fallout from Nigel Pargetter's untimely death in The Archers. Death is an odd visitor to Borsetshire because the soap isn't really ratings driven, and so can amble along on a delicious slow burn mode. News is when there's problems with Tom Archer's sausages or Lynda Snell's panto set falls down. People listen in droves but it's usually with a slightly ironic smile. The smile goes when death visits the cast, to be replaced by a worried expression. Hang on, you want to say, this is Ambridge. Other deaths are recalled, like Mark Hebden's car crash and John going under the tractor.

Most of the male characters in the Archers are useless so we'll miss Nigel who for all his daffyness could actually get a thing done once he put his mind to it, like the aerial tree walk. (What exactly IS an aerial tree walk?) Marriage to Lizzie was a hell of a challenge - she can be a bigger cow than most of David's Herefords - but he always seemed up to it. He was first launched on the unsuspecting Archers public in the early 80's, prancing round in a gorilla suit with Tim Beecham . He dated Shula, at one point trying to sneak into her bedroom and getting under the covers with Phil and Jill by mistake. That was the funniest episode in the Archers EVER.

With the departure of Sid Perks, Phil Archer and now Nigel strong older males are now in short supply in Ambridge. There's whingeing Adam, Iain (who's too good for Adam) and Fallon's new boyfriend but I don't think he's a stayer. David will be crippled with guilt for next three decades and I've never been partial to moaning Tony. I'm left pouring a stiff gin and tonic and listening out for Brian. He must now bat into the fading light for us forty-somethings too old to trot down to the clubs in Felpersham with Alice and Chris Horobin.

UPDATE It's Chris and Alice Carter, of course. You don't ever stop being a Horobin though, in reality.

The Archers Again

'The Archers' this week gave us another Golden Radio Moment (c) when the satanic infant George fell into Neil Carter's pig sty. He was shocked but unhurt, sadly.

I worked up at BBC Birmingham recently, in the brand new Mailbox building. You pass 'The Archers' studio on a landing on the way into the newsroom. It has a big window so you can see the equipment and control booth, but when they record they draw down big blinds so you can't see the actors. I'm glad about that as I have specific visual images of many of the cast nurtured over twenty five years. They include:

Joe Grundy: Almost indescribably hairy, red faced, hook nosed and illegally smelly.

Matt: Sideburns and bad breath.

Jennifer: Dark shoulder length hair and a martyred expression.

Shula: Dark shorter hair but the same martyred expression as Jennifer.

Lillian: Silverish bob, blue eyes and the foxy manner that's made her the favourite character at Hendo Towers.

Clarrie: Traditionally built (see Alexander McCall Smith), and yes, rosy cheeks.

George: Blond hair, tiny, with a tiny '666' tattooed somewhere only a professional exorcist can find it.